A commitment to Liberalism

Of all the reflections I could be making right now, on this Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, a mere 24 hours before our first black president is sworn in to office, I think discussing my commitment to liberalism is appropriate.

Let me start by saying, I was not raised to be liberal; I have spent hours of my life listening to my family's preachings and rants on the conservative point of view for my entire formative life. My father and step-mother are pretty devoted conservative Republicans. My dad still thinks Sarah Palin is just wonderful, even after the copious public displays of snideness, blind ambition, ignorance, and mind-numbingly incoherent ramblings. To him, she effectively packaged herself as "just a regular gal, you betcha!", a core pillar of the collective conservative fantasy.

Second, I am not and never have been poor. Oh sure, I did the broke, starving college student thing for a few years. I know what it feels like to scrape change out of my couch so I could eat and the constant pressure and worry of paying my bills when I didn't make enough money. But I won't lie. If I really needed it, I could have begged a few bucks off my family. I was just to proud to do it usually. But the safety net that was there is why I will never claim true poverty.

Finally, I did not have a liberal education. I have gone to school for both my undergraduate and two graduate degrees in Orange County, CA. In case you don't know, OC is one of the most die hard, wealthy, conseravtive strong holds in the United States. We are the home of Richard Nixon, for Pete's sake!

My father was at first just annoyed by my moderate leanings in early adolescence. I remember how his face fell as I announced that I registered Independent when I was 18. But the longer I went through school and the more I learned about the history of the United State's domestic and foreign policy, the more liberal I became, and the farther apart my father and I grew. Now we are at the point where we have no ideological common ground, save for a pride in taking care of our own selves, that we can't even talk politics if we hope to make it through dinner. He has stated more than once that he eagerly looked forward to the day that I started earning good money so that I would pay extremely high taxes, experience his point of view, and finally come over to his side of the isle.

Well, fellow tax payers, that day has arrived. I now earn so much and have so few write offs (that would be 0, in case you were wondering exactly how few) that I pay approximately 45% of my earning in income taxes. I also usually owe the state when I file. And let me tell you, there are days when it really irks me, that I work half the year for free.

The reason I am even writing this reflection is I had a truly Republican moment last night. My boyfriend was calculating the taxes for his friend. She makes very little money and has one child. She pays approximately 18% in taxes, although she has her child as a write off so it's probably lower then that, and she was mad because she is only receiving $2100 back instead of the usual $3000, and part of the reason is because she has to pay back the $600 stimulus she already received. And I thought "bloody hell! I pay almost half my income in taxes and am shaking in my sneakers right now because I am positive that I will owe more. The best I can hope for is to break even."

And after a few minutes of silently fuming I remembered something. She lives in a single bedroom in a house that someone else owns. She lives in that room with her boyfriend and their 5 year old daughter. They have one car between the two of them, for which she is making payments. She works two jobs, one of them which has her on call at all hours of the night so she can drive over to a hotel in Manhattan Beach and give some rich guy a massage. The other job is a 9-5 deal. She couldn't even stay for desert on Sunday night because she got called in for an appointment at 9:30 PM! They have to count every penny. They go out and have fun maybe once a month and that's a struggle. Every time they come over to visit, she is asleep as soon as her ass hits the chair. They have very few possessions.

Despite the heavy tax burden, I share a two bedroom apartment with my boyfriend in a very upscale part of Long Beach. We each have our own laptops, cars, clothes, and money to go out and treat ourselves. Oh sure, I can't spend anytime I want. I have a lot of student debt which takes a hefty chunk out of my budget, but I can't say my style is all that cramped. I think I eat out 4 or 5 times a week, and I usually throw food out because it goes bad. I take home more money a month than my friend will get for her refund. What was I so pissed about?

And this brings me back to my point. Because of my lengthy discussions with my family, I understand the path to conservative ideology. It's very simple. Just think, over and over again; "me, me, me, me, me!!" I find myself feeling that way occasionally. Liberalism, the idea that we live together in a collective commonwealth to which we all must contribute to and maintain, requires a frame of mind that does not chant "Me, me!" but "Us, us!" I don't begrudge a single person who needs my tax dollars to have a free school for their child, or receive welfare so they don't have to go out and steal when times are hard, to pay their heating bill while on disability because they got hurt or just had a baby. I don't begrudge the tax breaks for people like my friend who is just trying to make ends meet.

I am blessed with wealth, good fortune, and a family who was committed to my education. It's only right that I give back. I went to public schools and got cheaper tuition from a Cal State for my undergrad. If I get laid off I may need unemployment some day. If I have kids, I'll need a public school system to send them too. Eventually, I'll be old and slurping soup for dinner at 3 in the afternoon and need money to pay my heating bill and buy medicine to prolong my soup slurping days. And my friend's kid is going to partially pay for that with her earnings.

As a philosophy, liberalism may sometimes fail to translate into reality. Good intentions are often lost in the political arena of personal favors, compromises, and quid pro quos, but I think we need to keep trying. As a society, we are not all politicians, and as Dr. King showed us by giving us his life so that the people in this country can have a better days, we all need to be commited to an idea to change the world.

So give back my fellow tax payers, it will be returned to you many times over. And remember, maintaining a commitment to liberalism takes work. Nothing makes me sadder than when my father proudly tells me the story of how he used to be a liberal because it suited his needs at the time, but as soon as he started making good money and paying lots of taxes he switched horses because he wanted to keep it all. He's still waiting for me to wise up I think. And every time I feel myself on the verge of chanting "me, me, me!" I'll do my best to remember, that I already have everything I need, now its time to make sure everyone else does too.

Blessed Be.